"Look, Amir! I'm like you late at night!" My dad childishly joked, shaking his protein shake in the exact manner you would for jerking off.
I couldn't help but roll my eyes. God, my dad has turned into such a meathead. He also won't stop eye fucking himself! Ever since joining this stupid gym and getting, I admit, impressively swole, it's like all his brains were sucked out! Was that the cost of a membership here: your IQ?!
I guess it isn't all bad, I mean, he has lightened up a lot since dumbing down. He used to be such a stick in the mud, always painfully serious with a lecture in hand. However, now, I can hardly keep up with him. From the constant jokes and smothering hugs, he's turned into such a teddy bear! And don't get me started on the smell! Every time he hugs me, I'm practically suffocated with his musk, a thick aroma of masculine stink and sweat. I hate that I like it sometimes ... actually, most of the time. Damn, Dad. Why do you have to be so fucking sexy?! It's cause of you that I beat my meat silly every night! ...Dumb, meathead.
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